The Wrath of Bob Barker

Sorry I haven't posted in a little while. It turns out that I was at Grandma's! house. I don't really remember going to Grandma's! house, but her house is so much fun you black out, so that must have been what happened.

What I do remember is the Female being gone for a long time, and I started to get really excited because I thought maybe she was gone for good and Daddy would let me on the bed to sleep with him and I would get my own car instead of having to share with Gunny and I would get to eat from a plate like Daddy does too. But then the Female came back and she smelled like Grandma's! house and I got really excited that she smelled like Grandma's! and but also mad because I wanted to go to Grandma's! too. Then the Female and Daddy started saying we all went to Grandma's! and didn't I remember going? I don't really remember it, but I guess I could have gone because going to Grandma's! is so much fun. I am really glad I got to go. It made me not miss Grandma! so much.

Once we got back from Grandma's! there was a big storm. This just proves that Bob Barker hates it when we're far from Grandma, because he controls the weather. It was really windy and really rainy. Gunny and I decided we needed to keep a close eye on the weather, so we asked to go out every 15 minutes. Then we stood in the yard, taking measurements. It looked like we were staring off into space, but we were really taking measurments. We were going to log on to make our report to the Weather Channel, when the power went out. This was awesome because it meant that the Female and Daddy stopped watching the TV and computer and started paying attention to Gunny and me. Sometimes it isn't good to have the people pay attention to you when the power is out, because they notice you're out and about and they lock you up so they can go upstairs and do married things. I don't know what they are doing when they do married things. I assume they are going to Home Depot, but they usually go upstairs to do married things and I haven't seen a Home Depot up there, and I've been looking.

The power stayed off for so long that the Female and Daddy ran out of married things to do. We all went to bed and the power was still off when we got up. And then, Daddy and the Female got stupid. Now, you know I love Daddy, but sometimes I think the time he spends with the female makes him a little slow. The people got up to brush their teeth, and found out the the water was off. They were a little bit upset. I don't know why. Everyone knows that the water that comes INTO the house is BATH water and baths are BAD. I was really, really happy that the bath water couldn't get into the house. Daddy and the Female weren't, though. Weirdos. Besides, there is a GIANT LAKE across the street. We had plenty of water. Daddy and the Female are just silly sometimes.

Anyway, the power and the water came on later in the day, which was good because we got to watch the Steelers game. I love the Steelers.

Three Nice Things about The Female

I am not on punishment anymore! Did you miss me? I am sorry you had to read what Gunny wrote. He's so dumb. Everyone knows we've seen Grandma! and Grandpa since we've been to Texas! We got into our car (it's our car because the Female and Daddy only use it when we're going with them. It is a very valuable classic car). I remember the trip well—we drove to the gas station, Daddy filled up the gas can for the lawn mower, then I must have been so excited to see Grandma! and Grandpa that I blacked out because the next thing I knew we were at home and the Female and Daddy were saying "Wasn't that fun! We were at Grandma's! house!"

They wouldn't lie to me.

When Daddy talked to me about why I was In Trouble and on punishment he said I need to start being nicer to the Female when I write about her on my blog. So, here are three nice things about the female:

1. She has nice ears. When she and Daddy got me, her ears were very long and light gray. Now they are short and slightly darker gray. They are silky, like an Afghan Hound's ears, which is neat. I wish I had ears like that—the Female can pull her ears back out of her way. My ears are too short for that. The Female must have a lot of ear wax though, because she washes her ears everyday. Also, sometimes she points the loud hot air gun at her ears. That's just weird. Daddy doesn't have ears. He has these wrinkly things on the side of his head, but not proper, pretty ears like the Female.
2. She's easy to trick. I wouldn't be able to run off as much if the Female weren't so trusting. I like that about her.
3. She takes me places and buys me things. Like, we went to the grocery store again this weekend, and she said we could get some ice cream. Someone told her that in Texas, you eat Blue Bell ice cream, because it is really good. I think it's good but they don't have any good flavors like Snausages or bone marrow. Nothing is so refreshing on a hot day as a cone of Snausage ice cream. The Blue Bell Moo-Lenium crunch isn't even beef flavored! Since I didn't see any ice cream flavors I liked, I thought I might get an ice cream bar or sandwich. That's when I saw the boxes of Blue Bell ice cream bars and sandwiches.

What the hell, Texas? The ice cream is good, but the box is SCARY.